When it comes to self-harm there are so many different out looks and negative impressions on self-harm. With this blog I’m hoping to break some stereotype and bring more awareness. First thing is what is self-harm? The proper definition for self-harm is “a deliberate act that cause harm to one’s body, mind and/or spirt.” I liked this definition because it shows that there is more than one way to injure your self beside physically. So what are the different types of self-harm? Well there a bunch of different way, the most common that people see more often is cutting. But there also:
- Scratching and pinching
- Forcefully impacting object towards one self.
- Ripping skin tissue
- Carving into skin tissue
- Burning one self
- Hair pulling
- Misusing drug or alcohol/ purposely overdosing
- Binge eating (either Bulimia or forcefully trying to gain weight.)
- Exersing excessively
- Preventing wounds from healing
- Sleep depravation
And there is still so much more. When it comes down to it, this is not about strength or weakness. It’s about someone needing help and no one listening. We are all human and we all need help once in a while and sometime it’s easier said than done.
The next thing I wanted to talk about is stereotypes. Stereotype drive me mad, I highly dislike them because majority or all of them are not true and to me I feel like its labelling. But that the last thing people need is to be labeled in a category that they may or may not be in. So the next section I’m going to write about is my point of views on the more popular stereotypes. And I know some people may not agree with some of my statement, but that’s alright feel free to comment your point of views. I love to hear different side, because it help me learn different ways to look at things. I will be bolding the stereotype statement and then have my opinion piece underneath
“People self-harm for attention seeking”
- This statement can be true in a way, because when I self-harmed I was calling for help. And statistics show that majority of people that self-harm are subconsciously are calling for some sort of help and just can’t quiet figure out how else to express it. But when people turn around and say “oh she just looking for some attention” to me that really hurt because I they say that and walk away and I’ll be stuck going to that same cycle because no one listening.
“Teenager are the only ones to self-harm.”
- To me that’s one of the biggest lie you can tell. Almost as big as telling someone they will grow out of it. This is something that could happen to anyone. Not just one age group, teenager, adult and elderly all go through our own struggle and we all deal with stress differently. But as adult we are responsible for are selves and are able to hide it better than a youth going home to their parents.
“They can stop if they wanted to”
- No, not everyone can. To some people self-harm can turn into an addiction and turning back can be as hard for them as quieting smoking. And stopping is not always easy if the cause for the self-harming is present.
“The wound isn’t that bad, so the problem can’t be that bad”
- This statement makes me angry, because everyone has their own struggles and who has the right to say someone else’s struggle are better than theirs. When you see someone wounds you only seeing the outside wounds, and not taking into account of the inside wounds they may be struggling with.
“Only woman self-harm.”
- I don’t know where this one came from but it’s wrong. Yes there is a higher ratio of female to male. For every 1.5 female to each male. But that does not mean that there are only females that self-harm.
“People who self-harm are violent”
- Just because one person that self-harms was violent doesn’t mean the rest of us are. It’s like saying every teenager is a thief. No, this is just a way to put more labels on people and leave them out. Why label someone, why not get to know them instead.
“People who self-harm don’t care about them self’s or other.”
- See again it’s all about labelling. Not one person is the same, I self-harmed in the past but I still loved my self and others. I have always been a very compassionate person, so this stereotype really bugs me, because no one can tell you how you feel, only you can do that. And yes in some cases there are some people who are like that. But why judge, is it doesn’t affect you why put that person down.
If you walked into subway and the person in front of you ordered a state and cheese and you are ordering tuna. Would you get mad at them for not ordering the same thing as you?
The next paragraph I wanted to talk to you a little bit about my experiences. When I was in my teenage years I mentally self-harmed myself, I also had anorexia. I struggled with that for years, I still do once and a while not I will say nasty thing to myself and break my self-confidence. I know I shouldn’t I’m 22 with a wonderful man by my side picking up every piece I drop, but it just happens. When I was younger I would cry when I was over 105 pounds. And realistically I wasn’t fat, but I didn’t have the self-esteem to help me believe that. So I continued not eating and I started to get sicker and sick to the point where I didn’t know that healthy was anymore. As well as morally I felt terribly because I’d be lying about my eating habits and it didn’t matter what they did, I wouldn’t eat or I would eat very little and be mad at myself. I broke the eating cycle when I got pregnant with my son and it pushed me to eat because the last thing I wanted to do was hurt my baby. After I gave birth I started back tracking or start forgetting to eat, because that was what I was used to. The only reason I did was my son reminded me of when meal time was. I’m still not happy with my weight but I’ve gotten to a point where, I’m healthy again and I finally reached out for help so that I can live a good life for my son J
I hoped you guys enjoyed my blog, feel free to ask me questions or comments. I will love to read them ❤