Howie talks addiction

Hey blog readers, I’m Howie Defranco and today’s topic is all about that wonderful little thing called addiction. Ok wonderful is pushing it quite a bit because it’s actually not in the slightest. Now I myself have a fairly addictive personality but thankfully stayed away from most types of substance related addictions with the exception of alcohol. Thankfully alcohol is not an addiction for me either, partly because I can only stomach so much and partly because I realize when I need to stop. For me though and I acknowledge it wholeheartedly behavioural addictions are my vices. Today I’m going to talk about the ones that affect me more often than I care to think about.

The first of which will be gambling, which is something I have fairly under control assuming I don’t enter a casino. The first time I entered one was with my mom she took to see a show at the Hard Rock out in Coquitlam it was Whose Live Anyway? It was fun and after the show she gave me some money and told me to play on her dime for a bit, she gave me 20$ I turned it into 90$ lucky right? Over the course of about 3 weeks I went to a casino on 15 separate occasions each time taking a limited amount of money and either winning or losing it. It was all for the fun, and then I started playing to win money, I’d take 60$ and walk out having lost 100, 200, 250$. I skipped classes to go play, I ditched friends to go play and that is why if I go to a casino now I never go alone and only bring cash. A gambling addiction can ruin a persons life, I’m just lucky I noticed and learned to control mine.

Then there’s both pornography and sex, yes both are addictions. Since I was 9 years old I’ve watched pornography at l least once every day, I do it when I’m stressed, to help me sleep, to make me feel better, to feel pleasure. I don’t remember exactly how I started watching it, I think I just saw something online one day and felt a need to well take care of myself. I used to do it all the time, if I was at home and because I didn’t have much going on outside of school when I was little it was all the time. That addiction I think lead to an addiction involving sex, that you could probably figure out and that I don’t want to go into detail about. What I will say is it started a year and a half ago just after when I hit one of my lowest points and it lead to me making that same mistake to feel better about myself 15 times over the next year whenever I had the money. I’ve stopped doing it, but even today I still think about doing it, how much better it feels then just watching porn. Every time though that I feel alone, or sad, or butt, or stressed I think about doing it again and sadly it’s more often then I like admitting.

On to easier topics, did you know that food/eating is considered a behavioural addiction. Neither did I but for someone that eats as much as I do it makes sense, I eat 3 meals a day yeah sure, plus snacks, and whenever I’m hungry. I eat a lot of food is the jist of that, I eat whenever and I eat more than most people, mostly cause I enjoy food a lot. I eat when I feel stressed and I eat when I am happy, I use whatever excuse there is to eat, lately I feel I’ve been able to keep it more under control, especially with my family at home going on a diet and having healthier food.

Lastly and probably the most serious addiction I have is an addiction to forms of entertainment, television, video games, movies. I spend hours at home watching stuff or playing video games and I mean unhealthy amounts of them. Literally if I’m at home I’m watching or playing something on the tv in my room, I’ve watched 100 different tv shows through and through, 700 movies and played video games for 24+ straight before.

I know in this blog I didn’t touch on substance abuse because it’s not something I personally have experienced or have witnessed. For those of you who have or are going through it right now please, please seek help. Find someone to talk to about it, at the very least the addictions I have are extremely less likely to cost me my life. So please be careful out there because in this day and age, with so many substance whether illegal or not, it’s incredibly dangerous.

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