“Don’t do it.”
“You’ll be ok.”
“Things get better.”
“Think of us, we love you.”
Anyone who has contemplated suicide has probably heard these words countless times.
When suicide feels like it’s the best option, over staying alive, it doesn’t mean the person is weak. When you are at the point that death seems like the best solution it’s because you have fought so hard to be at the point you are and you feel like you have no fight left. You feel like you are drowning, that there is no way out and nothing is getting better or easier and it can feel like everything is just getting worse. You have no will power, energy or reasons to keep fighting. You have lost that glimmer of light to see that things get better. You don’t know what else to do to make things better.
“Just kill yourself already.”
“Suicide is the pussies way out,”
“Stop being a whiney brat.”
“We’d be better off without you anyways.”
Words hurt and they can be taken to heart.
Words alone are not enough to convince someone not to commit suicide but they can help push them farther towards it. When you hit such a low point in life where you feel as though suicide is your only option your loved ones words are not the only thing you need to be alright. You need their support, love, actions, encouragement and you need help. In some ways you can compare suicide to drowning. Like drowning words alone will not save you from suicide.
Imagine you are drowning, are words alone going to save you? If someone is standing somewhere safe and telling you ‘don’t drown’ or ‘just swim to safety’ that’s not going to help a lot. Just like if you are suicidal being told ‘don’t commit suicide’ or ‘just fight harder’ does not help you get through it. If you are drowning it is helpful for the person to give you a flotation device, it will keep you afloat; but that can be only a temporary saviour if you can’t bring yourself to safety. Just with suicidal thoughts it can be temporary fix to have your mind and time occupied; but as soon as you are alone again it’s easy to slip right back down into your thoughts and plans of suicide. If you are drowning it is helpful for the person to come out to you and help you pull yourself to safety or give you a device that’ll help keep you afloat and bring you to safety. Much like drowning, when dealing with suicide it is helpful for a loved one to talk to you, find out what is wrong. It’s also helpful for them to show (not just say) they care and are listening, for them to try and understand. For them to be there for you when you are struggling, and to get you help. To help you and not just give you the tools and expect you to figure out how to work it, to be by your side and help you. It is helpful for them to meet you where you are at and not expect you to just come to where they are first.
“I’m here for you.”
“You don’t have to do this alone, we can get through this together.”
Having support can make all the difference.
If you are feeling suicidal reach out to someone you trust.
If you notice someone may be suicidal reach out to them, don’t just turn a blind eye.
If someone expresses that they are suicidal help them, support them. Help them work through it, and get professional help.
You are never alone. Don’t suffer in silence.
Stay Loud. Stay Proud. Stay Strong, Lovies.
Marie Olsson xx