Brian View on Suicide

Suicide is a scary thought that no one should ever consider doing. Some of us I know if not most of us in the world go through a lot in our life and often times all we want to do is go somewhere far and just give up and end our life. Let me tell you something, I have been there many times in the past couple years and I cant even count the times I have attempted to end my life, at times I’m like why didn’t I kill myself when I had the perfect chase, why cant I just give up and go somewhere no one knows me or find me and kill myself, like why am I living, let me tell you something I wouldn’t be here right now if it wasn’t for the support of a couple friends holding me down and breaking me emotionally telling me how much life is going to get better soon. I should have been dead years ago when I held a gun to my head and couldn’t pull the trigger no matter how hard I tried to I just couldn’t do it, the one person that came to my mind when I closed my eyes was my baby niece, whenever I feel low I think of her and she just makes me feel better. Even though I can’t see her she is always close to me when I close my eyes.
I know how hard it is, where there’s days you just want to die and not live because you feel alone boys and girls whoever is reading this I want you to know, you are never ever going be alone in the world there is always going to be someone else in the world that is going through the same situation as you and that is ready to give up but I want you to know hang in there. No matter how hard life feels like its the end of the world its not, life is tough, life is rough, and often times we don’t know what to do, but there is so much you can do about it, when you feel like you want to end it all think of a love one and how hurt they would be if they found out you died? Think about the people that care and love you even when you deny that no one loves you, honestly you are loved and cared for its our intentions and negative thoughts that make us believe and think different. I know we all heard it before in life don’t be so negative and don’t be so upset, honestly its not a bad thing to be upset often times its good to be upset so you can release emotions and crying is good.
When you feel upset when you feel like the world is giving you hard times and feel like ending your life, think of someone you love dearly and talk to someone, talk to someone you can trust and tell them how your feeling, tell them that you want to give up be honest with them, I know I wouldn’t want anyone to go to that extreme, I know the struggle of suicide but remember there is someone else wanting to give up but don’t. The pain your battling, and your scars will change someone else’s life, I have my scars and I have my wounds but I’m still here surviving but what didn’t kill me in the past only made me stronger, I am a stronger and better person each day that goes by, each day I learn new things from people and talk to them about what I went through because I realized what I hid from everyone else only made things worse. Talk to someone about how you feel and don’t worry everyday is going to get better and better you are not alone.
this is Brian O’Connor stay beautiful
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Brian’s Views on Addiction

Addiction is one common thing that can go two major ways in life, one it will break your family and friends apart and two it will end up with you being six feet deep, harsh I know but its true. I have seen a lot of my close family and friends go through addiction and trust me its not a pretty seen when you have to see your own blood smoke crack right in front of you. I have had my own share of addiction from drugs and alcohol, I have lost a lot of family and friends because they got fed up seeing me struggle with it, my mom walked away, my best friends everyone I ever cared about walked away, and I thought I would never see them again. I don’t know which was worse though at the time losing them or loving the addiction…? I know we all make mistakes in life not one of us is perfect but addictions kill us slowly.
How would you feel seeing your loved one walk away from you? Or seeing you kids get hurt by not having their mom or dad around, because they would rather party and drink or go do drugs…? Its the worse feeling ever putting someone you love in that position, I hated the fact I put everyone I love in the position seeing them walk away and leave me, I had to chose between liquor or family and sadly I chose liquor over them for a year, until I hated myself because I was lonely and hurt for not having anyone. But to be honest, after everyone walked away from me and after couple months of thinking I stopped because family and friends means more to me than liquor. I can say yes there are days where I can have a couple drinks and stop but there nights where I’ll go a couple days drinking then stop, I have gotten better after realizing what is more important in your life addiction or family?
We all have our addictions rather that is drugs or alcohol but we can all get better one day. It takes time for some of us to quit completely and for some of us we can quit cold turkey, either way we can quit on our own or quit with someone’s help. Don’t try to do something by yourself if you are unsure if its the right thing to do, talk to someone about the addiction, attend addiction seminars or meetings, find something that you can get help from, check into a rehab or treatment center. Once you get the help you need don’t think that its punishment think of it as a brand new start and a brand new beginning to a new you, life gets better when you have the love and support from your family and friends, sure it maybe tough but the reward at the end of it is worth all the stress. Believe in yourself and think positive and if your going through any addictions right now i believe in you that you can get better and you will.
Much love,
Brian O’Connor

Healthy Relationships – Brian O’Connor

What makes a healthy relationship? The number one thing that makes a healthy relationship in life is communication, then there’s trust. Every relationship should have great communication between involved parties or else the relationship won’t really go anywhere; because if not you’re going to question whether something is wrong, or if something happened. In order to have great communication you need to speak up, talk about what is going on, talk about if there is something bothering you, or even talk about what you both can do to make things better for the relationship. A relationship is a two person job not one, and nobody else should be involved either. When other people get involved in a relationship it becomes to get iffy because your friends may not like the person you’re with or they tend to try to take you away from that person. I know I’ve been in a couple relationships where my friends would take me away from my girlfriend and stop me from seeing or talking to her because of how jealous they were since I was spending more time with her then them and I had some people who I thought were my friends try to hit on my girlfriend and I’m going “are you kidding me right now.” Stand up for yourself and stand up for your partner don’t let anyone walk all over them because they don’t like the person, communication is the key to a healthy relationship.

The other thing that makes a healthy relationship is trust, and I know for some people trust is a big issue now a day’s that most of us have. I for one have trust issues and don’t get me wrong some people think I’m stupid for having trust issues but what do you expect having being cheated on multiple times by people I trusted… If you’re going to be in a relationship with someone get to know them first, see how they are, try and build yourself up to talk to them about anything and everything gain their trust because it’s not given just like that its earned. Everyone in a relationship should be able to go out and do things with their friends or even have time to themselves relax and chill just because you’re in a relationship doesn’t mean you need to be each other 24/7. Often times it’s good to have some space and just do you, go out and have a boys or girls night, go out to a sporting event or go out with the girls to the spa do something away from each other where you can still make time for others and know that you can trust them that their not going to do something else. Trust each other, compromise on something that works for both of you. Work things out together and know that if you have been with the person for a long time they’re not going to do anything to break that, have faith in them trust them and work it out.

If you’re like me that gives to people and don’t expect anything in return just know that it will cost you big time in the long run. It’s good to give in a relationship like buy a gift here and there or even go for dinner and treat your partner out, but remember don’t go overboard with it. Don’t get me wrong if I had a girl I would do whatever I can to make sure she’s happy and has what she needs but at the same time make sure you don’t go blowing all your money and stuff, guys don’t feel bad either though if your girl wants to pay a bill instead just split it or something. If your girl buys you gifts or something you like, thank her with flowers or surprise her by making dinner at home or something she loves, it’s the small things in life that goes a long way. At times do something you both love to do go for a walk, join a cooking group, or book club, or have movie nights. Do something you love to do together or chill at home watch T.V and play video games. Doing what you both enjoy will give you a strong and healthy relationship plus you can have fun while doing it, plus a relationship doesn’t always have to be so serious, you can always make time for each other. Regardless what your schedule looks like.

One thing for certain is that don’t let anybody come in between your relationship, don’t let people bring you down, you guys can still have them as friends but if they’re trying to ruin your relationship then they’re not really friends at all are they? But that’s just my opinion, I wouldn’t want anyone coming in between my relationship if I had one, because of who I’m seeing, who I see is my business no one else’s. If you love someone or like someone and are together or planning to be just remember appreciate the small things in life you have together and build on each other’s weakness learn from one another and see where your relationship takes you guys. Think of it this way where you guys are right now rather in a relationship or not just know communication and trust comes first talk to each other and don’t hide anything, it’s your relationship and no one else’s.

Much love I hope you can have that strong and healthy relationship.
Brian O’Connor

Infidelity -Brian O’Connor

Infidelity also known as cheating is a pretty common subject now a days that everyone has experienced or is dealing with. I personally think that if you’re going to cheat on someone then you shouldn’t even consider being with them or at least be honest and now a days that’s one thing that ruins a relationship. When a person is hiding the fact that they cheated on someone, their partner has to find out through a friend, or find out for themselves by walking into their partner being with someone else. To be honest it’s the worst feeling ever to think or find out your partner is cheating on you. I went through it multiple times and it hurts a lot, I don’t think anyone should ever really go through it. If you want to be with someone don’t have others on the side you flirt with because most relationships end knowing that there’s other people involved and can cause a lot of trust issues. The lack of trust now a days will end a relationships really quickly and depending on who you are and how you deal with things it can either be good or bad. Everyone has different ways dealing with the fact they got cheated on rather that’s by moving on real quick or by letting the hurt get to most us.

My experience with cheating was pretty terrible. The first time I was cheated on I found out by overhearing my girlfriend at the time talking to our roommate that she cheated on me with four guys in four days. To hear the fact that your girlfriend did that to you and having her hide it sucked big time. After that I didn’t date or see anyone for the longest time really; my previous relationship I had a gut feeling that my girlfriend was cheating on me just by the way she acted towards me and the way she treated me. Along with seeing her with a guy five minutes before she texted me saying that were breaking up. I really don’t know what hurt more, over hearing the fact I got cheated on or getting a text message saying were breaking up… Still to this day I can’t understand what went wrong, did I do something? Or was it because I wasn’t good enough for them that they would cheat on me?

I have grown to realize now that we need to leave the past behind us and that we all move on to finding someone better one day, it may not be today or tomorrow but one day we all can find someone we trust. I for one have a lot of trust issues now a days that I’m not ready to be in a relationship with someone yet, whether I have known them for a couple years or not. As much as it sucks to be cheated on, I just want you to realize you are not alone and there are many people that have been through or dealing with similar situations as you. Be positive though a right relationship will come your way when the time is right and you will find someone that won’t cheat on you.

Love Yourself First

Brian O’Connor

Brian on Grieving a loved one

Losing someone is always, always, always hard and tough to swallow because you don’t want to believe the fact that their gone. We all have lost someone we love the most: from grandparents, to parents, to aunts and uncles, to cousins, to brothers and sisters, and even a close dear friend. Some of us even may have lost a husband or wife and honestly it sucks every time because you can be doing something and out of nowhere their memory hits you. It’s like how does one person digest the thought of losing someone they love. It’s not easy and it takes a lot of time to get through it; but eventually through time and talking to someone it gets better, not saying it will be right away but it does get better.

 I know from my experiences after losing my grandpa six years ago have been getting better slowly each day that goes by, the first couple years to be honest was the toughest for me especially losing him on valentine’s day and I had to really accept the fact that he is gone. Although there is nothing I can do to change that or get him back and it sucks a lot but that is the honest truth. I wish there was a way I can bring him back every day but I know I can’t. Life is too short though to be upset I know if your loved one was still here today they wouldn’t want you to be upset they wold want you to be happy because they are in a better place.

 There are ways of dealing with grief though some of us deal with it by drowning ourselves in drugs and alcohol, some of us deal with it through depression, and some of us just need a distraction. Keeping yourself busy is one way to deal with grief and helping to control your emotions. With that said, ways with dealing with grief vary person to person. Find yourself a peaceful spot where you can go and just relax and calm your mind from everything. Just remember to stay strong and that you will overcome this ordeal at your own pace and in your own way.

  • Brian O’Connor

Brian’s Take on Depression

Depression is one thing I think no one should go through alone. It’s terrifying and deadly, depression as we all know will kill a lot of people. We often feel alone and upset; some of us feel physical pain, emotional pain, and don’t want to wake up in the morning or do anything because it just upsets us. To be honest I battle with depression and it sucks. There are days where I want to not wake up and just sleep, as well as not leave my house but I have to force myself to get up and leave. I realized when you stay in an area for a long time and isolate yourself you will go  insane at times, I personally did and it was the worst feeling ever.

I love being alone most of my times don’t get me wrong; but when I do it all the time it haunts me because I’m isolated in my own thoughts and those thoughts are scary. The things that I was going through in my life and the current situation I’m facing right now has its ups and downs. Sadly I have grown to accept that depression is something that I can’t get over and don’t know if I ever will. All I can do from my experience is do something everyday to keep myself occupied and stay busy whether that’s through working out, playing soccer, or even work in general.

One thing for sure is that you are not as alone as you think you are, there is a lot of people out the in the world that are dealing with depression. We can fight it by talking to a councilor, a close friend, or even a family member. When you talk out what you feel it’s better than holding it in because what happens next is you’re going to explode and regret the things you did. We all have a story and you’re lucky because your struggle and past will change a life. You can over come depression by not letting it get to you and live the life you want to live.

– Brian O’Connor

Brian’s School Issues

School issues are becoming a big deal now a days, since there are a lot of struggles youth face from depression, to classes, and the struggle to fit into a group of new friends just to name a few things in general we all or some of us face. I’m here to tell you that it is normal to go through it. Growing up it was hard for me to fit in and make friends and be part of a ‘group’, I’ve been the type of person being alone all the time and didn’t talk to anyone at all. Everyone didn’t want to talk to me because I was the short kid with glasses and picked on because I didn’t do what everyone else was doing; I was like the goody two shoes that was made fun of. It wasn’t till I started to put myself out there and talk to people that I started to fit in; but even then I still struggled with that because I just couldn’t find the confidence to start a conversation. For a while I just stayed to myself and listened to my music everyday and I had a routine I do everyday while at school. It wasn’t until grade 10 that I started to have friends again; but I met the wrong crowd though, I thought it would be so cool to hang out with older people that smoke and skips school. I was labelled as the kid who hung out with smokers and skips but you know that was a choice I made it was my choice to hang out with those people because we all had similar views and interests and most of us went through the same life growing up.

 If you’re reading this I just want you to know that just because you smoke or skip school you’re not a bad person.  Don’t let anyone stop you from fitting into a group if you feel like you can connect to certain people even though they smoke and skip then to be honest that’s ok because it is your choice. We have all made and make bad choices in life, but don’t put yourself down just because you’re a smoker or you skip school with friend. People shouldn’t judge you for that everyone has their own crowd or group such as the drama class, dance class, the athletes, to the music class, the math class, the science class, ect… we all have different personalities and have our own views on people but if you think you are any of those groups you can fit in anywhere and don’t let anyone bring you down for that.

 I know it’s tough to find out who you are and to find which group you can fit into; but realize you can fit into anywhere and be part of a group by being yourself. You shouldn’t change so you can be liked and fit in because that’s not you if you have to act a different way. You can’t be someone you’re not just to fit into a crowd, be yourself and don’t let anyone bring you down. Stand up for yourself, you can fit in, be positive, and try to meet new people even. I think when you be yourself you can fit into any group or crowd, like yes it’s tough and hard to go up to someone you don’t even know because you don’t know who they are or what their intentions are but even a simple hi goes a long way or vice versa. I used to be shy but when I broke my shell and approached certain people it came naturally to me. Now a days I love talking to someone new and making new friends; because listening to someone new and hearing their life story it helps you to realize a lot of yourself.

– Brian O’Connor

Brian Opinion on “What is Love?”

“What is love”

If I can describe the word “love”, love is something you can feel, think, and see. It doesn’t mean you have to do something big or buy expensive gifts to show someone you love them it’s the presences that should attract someone to you. Just the thought of having someone right beside you and you can just look into their eyes and not say a word but know exactly what their thinking is better then trying to find a way to make them love you.

You can’t make someone love you, love has no price tags you know when you love someone when no matter how mad you get at them and how rough things may be you can always find a way to make things work. Love is when two people can go through hell and back and still be together at the end of it all. If two people love each other their going to do anything and everything they can to be together but if one person doesn’t put any effort into a relationship and the other one is that’s not love at all that’s being a shellfish bitch and only caring about yourself.

Love is when two people can meet each other half way and walk together side by side. You know you love someone when you find someone that is willing to do that, every real relationships have fights and disagreements but through it all if you can sit down and figure where things went wrong your relationship will get stronger and stronger but if you keep fighting and having disagreements and one person gives up then say bye bye to that it will feel like a waste of time and you don’t want anyone but them. It sucks and it hurts but that’s life…

You fight you make up and then you brake up and make up again that’s not a healthy relationship in order to have a healthy relationship two people that are emotionally stable can last longer then one person having a unstable emotion it just doesn’t work out and never will because your gonna try to do whatever you can to make someone happy and show you care but most of the time that person tends to just use you and walk away…

Love is simply good and bad though but if you truly love someone and they don’t love you then walk away and someone better will come and sweep you off your feet… But always remember love is patients and the longer you wait for someone you care about the better it will be when an if you get the chance to be with someone you absolutely love..

Why I chose the pen name Brian O’Connor

The pen name I chose to go with was Brian O’Connor not only because he is the best actor and person in general but because his role in fast and furious had a big impact with my life.His high risk action packed character had me on the edge of the seat. In very movie he appeared in and the way he played his role just made me realize a lot about life itself. Being a good guy turned bad for a while and then having to choose to stay in the same life style of risking life an death or being a father had me really thinking. Although I’m not a father yet, one day I will be hopefully. Brian O’Connor aka Paul Walker will always have a big part of my life and he will always be remembered for his great heart. That’s the reason why I choose to go with Brian O’Connor

via Why I chose the pen name Brian O’Connor | TIME.

Brian O’Connor opinion piece on Self Harm

There are so many views on how you look at the issue youths face now a days with the subject of “self harm”. I have faced self harm before once by cutting and to be honest I didn’t enjoy it, the pain I felt from it wasn’t satisfying at all. The way I face my self harm was punching walls and breaking my hand on multiple occasions and over the years it taught me a lot. I did it for the high I got off it after the first two times of breaking my hand and for quite some time it felt so good but the end result was not worth it. Now when I think of self harm I try to go for a walk and clear my thoughts or playing soccer instead of cutting or punching solid things or I try and talk to people.

I know it’s hard because you think people don’t care enough about you and the only way to feel happy is to self harm, for yourself to die but it’s not worth it because you have so much life ahead of you. Life can be tough and you want to give up but put your head up high and fight the giant ahead of you because when you can conquer that you can conquer anything else life throws at you.

Remember that you have a purpose of life because your scars and your past will help someone else in life and that your not alone as you think you are, because there is a lot of people going through the same thing as you and together by talking to someone you can overcome life and whatever it throws at you.

-Brian O’Connor

via Self harm -Brian O’Connor | TIME.

Get to know Brian O’Conner

I come from a life of being on the streets and in a gang, the life and struggles I’ve been through in the past couple years have not been an easy route and still to the day isn’t but all I can do is keep moving forward to the life I deserve and need. It’s been two years since I’ve been of the streets and four years since I was in a gang. I have realized over the years that family and close friends mean more to me then money and fame I started getting back to the life I was at before with playing soccer and trying to help other street kids out that life style. TIME aka this is me entirely, is an organization that helps youth and young adults feel welcome anyone and everyone is welcome to come and talk to us and get the help they need and a place where someone actually understands them. Here at TIME we want to expand and help youths out everywhere we can. The reason behind this is because each one of the five members have been through a lot of the similar things and couldn’t find the proper help we needed and all of us here are a family pretty much and that’s what we want to do is help people struggling with abuse, suicide, sexuality etc.. I believe that everyone should have a place where they feel welcome and appreciated and a place where they can just be themselves if you have any questions or comments please contact me here till then thanks for reading and have a good day.

-Brain O’Connor