Madison Looking Through My Eyes

This blog not going to be the same as others, because it’s going to honestly be a little of everything. You will understand in a bit, I do want to warn you that this is going to be a bit touchy and sensitive to some people because I will be talking about an experience I’ve had. Our group did an activity a little while ago that triggered my depression and got this blog on my mind since and I know if I don’t get this out I may not be able to face them. I do not blame them it for triggering me don’t get me wrong there I love everyone in our group, but it’s the thought of feeling broken even though I try not to show it that bothers me the most. It also feels like I’m being untruthful to them not sharing what’s bugging me that also nags at me. So I wanted to get it all off my chest for everyone.Today I wanted to talk about what I’ve been thinking about lately, and it’s been constently in my head. I’ve also tried writing this multiple times in the past few weeks. I wanted to talk about little bits of my past, and how it brought me into the field of work I am in now. For those that don’t know I’m a youth worker and I work with at-risk youth that are homeless. It’s very rewarding job and I love it, I’ve been able to work with some very awesome people and some amazing youth. The most amazing this about my job is watching our youth succeed. I got into the field because I have been faced with homelessness at a young age, and I remember the fear of my next step. I went to a fundraiser last night with my work to open up a second house staging for youth that have aged out of care, and it was an amazing experience. We are hoping to open that up in the next couple years.
But what got me into this field was when I ran away from home when I was younger, I went to stay at a friend’s house. His parents had passed away a couple years before that, so his older brother was taking care of the house. I also had heard he was taking in other young girls on the street who were in similar situations as me. I remember being so happy being allowed to stay there, they had always been like brothers to me and I loved them. To this day I can still remember my first night at that house, as I was laying in my room the walls echoed with the screams of the other girls. The fear that pulsed through my veins when I went to try the door and it was locked from the outside. That night was one of the worst nights of my life, as this man who I saw as a big brother took advantage of me and I learnt that was the payment to staying at his house. As time went on and thing only got worse, I started feeling helpless and isolated. As well the more I fought back the more I got beaten down both verbally and physically.

So when I started working in this field my main goal was to never have another youth go through the same toutures I went through. I also got into this field to show the youth that they have support, someone who will help and listen to and that won’t throw them away after. My love for my work helps drives my passion to help the ones I need. Youth homelessness is something close to my heart and something I really feel strongly about. Growing up I was always told that the youth are our future, so why are we denying them the most basic needs and resources. That to me is one of the most frustrating things is trying to help a youth get towards a goal, then tell them that they are on a waiting list due to an overabundance of others trying to access the same resource. And that is because of the lack of the resources we have for our youth, I believe we need more and that is why our group was started. So that we can help make more resource for our community.

 

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Madison’s Struggle with Depression

I suffer from Depression, which is no news flash for anyone who knows me. I struggle every day with it, it is not something that will ever go away. I know that, and I’ve grown to accept it, so in a way I have it under control with just the acceptation. I’ll give you a definition on depression then I’ll get into a little more detail about what brought upon this topic.

Depression: a condition of general emotional dejection and withdrawal; sadness greater and more prolonged than that warranted by any objective reason.

I got this definition from Dictionary.com

I wanted to bring this topic to light because I have been struggling with my emotions lately, and it’s starting to drain me physically as well as emotionally. With people who have depression of any kind go through emotional detachment between them self and others or themselves and object/activity they enjoy. They may even withdraw from people or certain objects due to their emotional detachment. A big one for me is a loss in energy or motivation to do anything. There can be days where I don’t even have the motive to lay in bed, and all I want to do is disappear. Another one that I go through is feeling lost and alone even though I may have 2-200 people around me. Sometimes my emotions will get the best of me and I have thoughts. Thoughts about packing my stuff up and taking a trip no phone, not internet, nothing, and only telling family where I’m going and seeing how many people notice. Though that may be fun and relaxing that’s nothing more than a thought for two reasons. One: because I do not want to put my friends through that, two: I don’t want to know the answer. Depression can send your head through so many situations and put every day fears in you then times them by 10.

There are some pros that my depression has brought into my life. One of the pros in my depression are that I feel it has given me is empathy. I have a great sense of empathy for those around me, and with that it’s given me the strength to help and relate to others who are struggling, and the power to say you are not alone. The second pro is my friends, it’s given me a group of friends to relate to and confide in. And the biggest pro is me, I wouldn’t be me without my depression, nor would I be capable of being who I am at without going through the struggles I have.

What I am about to talk about is going to be a little touchy because it’s going to be of how I feel and act when I’m the middle of my depression, so I advise you to read with caution from here.

I go through what I call episodes where my depression affecting me the most  and then I have my highs which means I’m alright and then my lows where I’m not doing so well. My episodes only typically happen for a week maybe a week and a half at most before I reach out for help. Right now I’m sitting at my 12th week in a very bad low, my worst in a long time. This episode has taken over me emotionally, right now I feel like an empty shell with over bearing emotions that aren’t mine. Because of this it is causing paranoia, fear, desperation, OCD, and anger. I’ve been going through multiple anxiety attacks, yet I got it in my head that I cannot show it, because I’m afraid of being judged and it’s funny because the only one who would judge me is me. I was once told that we are our own worst critics. In many ways that is too true and I am afraid of letting myself down, I have been trying for so many years to prove to everyone around me that I am better then what I am now. I have pushed myself further than I ever thought possible, but not for the right reasons. I shouldn’t have had to prove I was better to anyone else but myself. My depression stems from a lot of my fears, my worries, my lack of self-worth, my lack of self-confidence, etc.… I don’t know how to correct it, but I have learn to live with the fact that I am better then what I think I am. People always tell me it will get better if you talk to someone, but what I don’t understand is how you are supposed to approach someone and go “hey I feel depressed today because I feel unimportant”. One if I say that to someone all there going to say back is that I am important to them, which is nice to hear don’t get me wrong but that not what I need to hear. But at the same time I don’t know what I want to hear. It’s funny cause I just said that my friends are a pro to my depression and in many ways they are, but sometimes I just feel that if I keep them in the dark I give them a better chances to let go of their emotions and help them deal with what their struggling with.

I have always been told I act older for my age when I’m having to deal with situations, yet every other time I act too young for my age and people always seem to wonder why. It’s simple that’s a wall I’ve had up since I was little, you can’t hurt someone who is already insulting themselves it takes the fun out of it. The same way how I always talk myself down, because no I’m not the smartest pea in the pod but you can’t talk me down when I’ve already said it myself. It is not a healthy way to live and I’m trying to break the habit just for the fact that I’m not a dumb women I can be smart if I tried but after being told that so many times it’s hard not to always believe that, but hey I’m still working on it and my boyfriend is calling me out on it. As well as a son that always tells me I’m beautiful, when I’m feeling down.

I apologize, I know it’s not really a blog it’s more just vomit of words and emotion, but to be honest I am feeling a bit better now that it is out. Feel free to leave any comment, concerns, questions anything I’d love to hear from you.

 

~Madison

Madison On: The Unknown

I’ve been listening to others struggle as well as myself struggle with the fear of change, or the fear of the unknown. This is something that is very common, it happens to everyone. But the reason I wanted to talk about it is because it something that I’m struggling with right now and I could use some help. Right now I’m at a stale mate, pretty much a struggle between hope and necessity. My boyfriend who I live with works full time and a pretty alright paying job, I work part time at a job I love ( 2 days a week, plus on call), the biggest problem is our bills are starting to stack and I’m not getting enough shift. This is where the fear of changes come in. I have multiple options 1.) I could do nothing but hope to get more shifts at my current job. 2.) I could find a second part time/ on call job with the risk of working 7 days a week. 3.) I can start looking for a new full time job. This is where my fear kick in the most because no matter what I do something going to change and I do not know if it is going to be for the good or the worst. See I know I need to at least look into getting a new job but then the “what if” pop into my head and I end up avoiding everything all together and I’m stuck standing still and hoping again. I want to make things better but I’m afraid to take that leap into the unknown just because it’s the unknown.

People tend to stick with bad situations instead of moving forward and taking the chance, because it feels safe and familiar. That a big one for me I don’t like the money situation but I know what going to happen every month, I know my shift and I know how everything at my work runs. I personally has never liked change not because of the fact it the unknown but the fact that it put a physical stress on me. The fear of change can come from almost anything a couple examples are: changing habits, change of a relationship status, moving, birthdays. Like I’m supper excited for the day my boyfriend going to ask me to marry him, yet I’m terrified about actually taking that next step in our relationship. I’m afraid what we got now going to change. My birthday just pasted in June, I’m getting older that in itself is a big fear just for the fact our bodies are changing every year, what if one day mine decides to stop working. I think that’s a fear that runs in the family because one of my uncles have that same fear.
Change and fear is a normal part of life, no matter what happens we cannot avoid it. But it is up to use to decide whether or not to take that chance to get an outcome we want or need. I will be writing another blog about the difference between Needs and Want in parenting. But yet in some ways fear is good for you. Fear helps your body figure out when danger is near, or when not to be around something/someone.  But if everyone lives in fear it will start consuming you, and sooner or later you will not be able to leave him with panicking. It starts feeling like there is a constant shadow behind you that always watching and it can also lead to paranoia.  Or the fear of going outside, it can turn you into a hermit. I think the way to overcome fear is by accepting that it is okay to be afraid, and reassuring yourself that it going to be alright.

 

I’m always open to hearing your guy’s comments, questions, and concerns. So feel free to leave a message for me down in the comments section, I’ll be sure to get back to you as soon as I can.

~Madison.

Madison Talks Animal Abuse

Animal Abuse

What is Animal Abuse? This is a definition from legal-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com

Animal Abuse: the crime of inflicting physical pain, suffering or death on an animal, usually a tame one, beyond necessity for normal discipline. It can include neglect that is so monstrous (withholding food and water) that the animal has suffered, died or been put in imminent danger of death.

To me I can’t fully understand or want to understand someone who puts an animal through animal abuse. I am an animal lover, in my house hold we have three dogs, and two cats. To me I couldn’t imagine putting them in any sort of harm, it would honestly break my heart. One of our dogs is very curly we haven’t had the money to trim him lately so he got really matted, it was actually getting really bad so we asked a favor from my mother in-law. Thank goodness for her she trimmed his hair for us but he did not like it at all, and hearing him whine broke my heart. To me animals should be treated the same as we treat are children. Yes they should be disciplined or they won’t know what is right or wrong but you do not need to harm them to have them listen.

 

Discipline is always hard to talk about, because like children you never want to offend someone. There is a definite difference between abuse and discipline. The biggest difference is what your intentions are. If you are aiming to hurt then that is abuse, where as discipline your intention should be to teach and it should be no harder than a tap. When it comes to discipline you do not need to hit at all if it is not needed. It’s important we show our animals love and respect because no matter what our animals will always love us unconditionally and they will always stay loyal. I don’t want to talk too much about discipline because I will be talking more about it in my next blog.

 

Another thing that is important to keep in mind that no matter how domesticated an animal may be they will still have the wild instinct in them. Like if a human hurts them out of instinct a dog will either turn around and nip at you or give you a warning growl. A cat will smack their face against you to show their affection and love, while at the same time they are scenting you as well. I think a big problem is that some people don’t understand animals fully and sometimes people will over react, and an animal may panic and then the situation gets out of hand. When it comes to an animal wild instinct it’s something that the owners have to spend a lot of time training them out of the animal and replacing it with love and affections.

I know that not everyone will agree with what I say and that’s fine, but I’d love to hear your guy’s opinions on this topic. As well as any question, concerns that may come up.

 

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~Madison

Madison Talks About Family Relationships

What is family to me?
Honestly Family is everything. I have five wonderful siblings and my son that mean the world to me. My mother is my Idol, I’ve looked up to her my whole life and I always will. I’ve got two fathers, both impacted my life differently. I have an amazing fiancé, really cool in-laws, and a few friends that I’ve adopted into my family.
When I think of family I think of everyone who is standing beside me. It doesn’t matter if we are blood or not. I want to know who will be there for me when I fall and who I can catch before they do. Family is supposed to stand by you in the darkest of days, then beg for money when you are on top 😛 hahaha just joking.  No family is something you build and create not bought or stolen. I would go the distance and move mountains if my siblings asked. The way I can tell if you are family or not is that no matter how short time ago I saw you I starting missing you the moment you leave. Like most people say you don’t know you have something till it’s gone.
Speaking of family, if anyone is wondering I’m going to finally get a chance to do some self-care this weekend. Hahaha only a couple months late but hey I need it… anyways my cousin’s coming down this weekend from the island, and my cousin has always been like a sister to me. Since my two actual sister who are also coming out this weekend are 8.5 years and 13 years apart from me, we never got that sisterly bond, I was always more of the mother figure. With my cousin though we are really close in age and when we were younger we’d spend as much time as we could together, to the point we were like inseparable until it was time to leave grandma and grandpa house. Sadly we always lived this far from each other I’ve always been on the main land and her on the island, and it’s even harder now with both of us working so seeing each other is getting harder. But hey got to make do with the time you have right.
So my five younger siblings, I love them to death. To break it down I have three brothers and two sisters. With two of my brothers they didn’t live with me until I was a lot older, so we never got the chance to build that closeness which pains me, because I would really like that brother sister relationship with the two of them. It is something we are working on but I find it a little harder now that we are so much older. The youngest three, I help raise all of them. My youngest brother is 15 years younger than me, one big age gap. I am really close to them and I try my hardest to be there for them, but every time I go over it’s like a fight for my attention. I defiantly do enjoy there company and listening to their day and everything they learnt in school. I try to see them once a week but sometime due to timing it ends up once every two weeks.
Now the one everyone knows I’m going to talk about. My son is my pride and joy, I love him so much, he has brought a lot of happiness into my life. Of course the life of a mother can be stressful but hey, I wouldn’t trade it for the world. So my son’s birthday just past in April, he just turned five. It’s really exciting because we are starting to prep him for kindergarten now. You can tell he is very nervous but he will not admit it, it was so cute the other day we were talking about school and letting him know we are going to orientation to meet the teacher and he turns around and goes “ I want a boy teacher”, I told him we have to wait and see. My son has a very strong personality, all of us are praying we don’t get a call from the principle too many times. It funny though mixed with his strong personality he has a very shy side that comes out so you never know right. My fiancé and I were really proud of him the other day, while we were at the park my son had made friends with this cute little kid about the same age. That got along well until they got to the zip line, all of a sudden it was like a flip of a switch the kid started hitting him and pushing him not letting him have a turn. It got to the point where we had to intervene and then remove are son from the situation.  We were proud our son did not hit or push back, yes he told him off a couple times but nothing too bad, where a couple years ago he punch my brother square on the nose for doing the same thing to him. I do have a feeling he was debating it and we removed him before anything really got on his nerves.
Thanks everyone for reading, I’d love to hear Question, Concerns, Answer, and Statements, anything you want to through at me in the comment section below.
“The only people you need in your life are the ones who need you in theirs. Never make someone a priority if they only see you as an option” –Maya Angelou

~Madison Taylor

Madison: Stereotypes of Child Abuse

Child Abuse

Here’s the definition of child abuse from dictionary.com

Child Abuse: mistreatment of a child by a parent or guardian, including neglect, beating, and sexual molestation.

When it comes to child abuse this topic always makes me angry, some people say that’s because I am a mother, but honestly it doesn’t matter. No child should be put in that kind of situation nor have to watch someone else go through it. Through my child hood I went through some stuff that I hope none of mine have to go through, but I was lucky in a sense that none of the abuse came from either of my parents nor any adult in my family. Today I’m going to be going through some different stereotypes about child abuse.

Stereotype

· There will be physical evidence of abuse.
> That is not always the case, when it comes to verbal, emotional or even physical abuse they are not always shown. Sad to say but more times than not emotional scars can do more damage than physical ones.

· Most child abusers are strangers.
> This is a very common stereotype that is false. When it comes to child abuse a majority of the abuse comes from a person from which the child already trusts and respects. That does not mean assume everyone you know is abusing your child or make your child fear everyone, that is not what I’m saying, but it is something to keep an eye on. A lot of child abductions are mostly from people the child already knows and trusts. My mother was always in fear of this, so we came up with a safe word, so any time she sent someone to come pick me up beside her or my grandfather they would have to tell me the safe word (password) before I’d be allowed to go with them. Lucky for me I never had to use it but it’s always a good idea to be safer rather than sorry. Also communication is key, my mother was always planning a head and letting us know who and when someone different was picking us up.

· Children usually tell someone that they are being abused
> Most children will not tell people they are being abused, because out of fear or threats or even respect. No matter what the cause children will still love their parent/abuser, just not the abuse. Children are very smart but they don’t fully know right from wrong until we show them the difference, and their innocence is sometimes what is keeping their mouth shut because we don’t know what goes on behind closed doors.
That brings me to my next topic discipline. This topic is a tricky one especially when it comes with abuse. One thing to remember is every parent is different, but by law there is still a line that is drawn. I for one do not like to spank my son but I will if he is putting himself or others in danger, and in all honestly he just turned five in April and I think I’ve spanked him a total of 4 times. I am more the time outs, kind of parent but even though they break my heart. Discipline is hard for all parties but yes it needs to be done, but make sure to do the research before you accidentally cross a line. Because I want to believe no one wants to hurt their children and yes things sometimes happen when tempers fly high but remember we are in this together, everyone makes mistake we are human. When I mess up and I do, (hahaha more times than not but hey), I just remove myself, calm myself and address the situation accordingly, then I show my son my love with lot of hugs and apologies. It’s also showing are children that we as adult still make mistakes and it’s not a bad thing, and it helps everyone be more accountable for their actions.

Thanks everyone for reading, I’d love to hear Question, Concerns, Answer, Statements, anything you want to through at me in the comment section below.

“The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing.” – Albert Einstein

~Madison Taylor

Madison Talks Social Anxiety

Social Anxiety

What is social anxiety? I couldn’t find a definition on dictionary.com, so here’s one from https://socialanxietyinstitute.org/what-is-social-anxiety.

 

Social Anxiety: is the fear of interaction with other people that brings on self-consciousness, feelings of being negatively judged and evaluated, and, as a result, leads to avoidance.

 

I struggle with anxiety, but I have gone through social anxiety personally. I have watched my uncle struggle with social anxiety almost my whole life. For him I think it started when I was around ten, meaning that it at least started 12 years ago or earlier. My 2 uncles have always been some of my idols, and they know if they showed something is wrong it would break my heart. My uncle has been doing alright with it though, because my uncle know what works best for him. I’ll talk a little more about symptoms in a later paragraph and I’ll make sure to but links down below to where I got stuff so if any of you want to learn more you can.

First I wanted to talk about what exactly social anxiety is. Social anxiety is the fear of a social interaction with other people, but it also varies between people to person. Some people fear interactions individual people and have a trouble interacting with even one person, and there are some people can’t handle group situations or big gatherings. This fear stems from being scared of being judged and evaluated negatively by other people, leading to feelings of inadequacy, inferiority, embarrassment, humiliation, and depression. Did you know “Millions of people all over the world suffer from this devastating and traumatic condition every day, either from a specific social anxiety or from a more generalized social anxiety.”

Here are some examples of some situations that someone with social anxiety may go some distress in:

• Being introduced to other people

• Being teased or criticized

• Being the center of attention

• Being watched while doing something

• Meeting people in authority (“important people”)

• Most social encounters, especially with strangers

• Going around the room (or table) in a circle and having to say something

• Interpersonal relationships, whether friendships or romantic

Someone with social anxiety also can’t help feeling the distress when the situation hits and even with telling someone everything is ok there is a big difference in “knowing” and “feeling”

 

Some warning signs that someone maybe struggling with social Anxiety are:

• Avoidance of social situations

• Physical symptoms of anxiety,

o including confusion,

o pounding heart

o sweating

o shaking

o muscle tension

o upset stomach

o diarrhea

 

So that’s it for my blog today hoped you all enjoyed and at the bottom are the two sites I promised you guys. Those are the ones I got my info from, so feel free to check them out.

 

https://socialanxietyinstitute.org/what-is-social-anxiety

http://www.webmd.com/anxiety-panic/guide/mental-health-social-anxiety-disorder#1

 

 

“People always ask me, you have so much confidence. Where did that come from?’ it came from me. One day I decided that I was beautiful, and so I carried out my life if I was a beautiful girl… It doesn’t have anything to do with how the world perceive you. That matters is what you see. Your body id you temple, it’s your home, and you must decorate it.”

~Gabourey Sidibe

 

~Madison Taylor

Madison Taylor’s Life Goals

My Life Goals
1) Make my family proud
2)Get married
3)Buy a house/land
4)Have more kids
5)Go back to school and get my masters in social work
6)Travel
7)Grow old with the one I love
8)Have grand-kids
9)Be happy

1)Make my family proud
No matter what I do in life I know that I will always struggle to achieve this goal because you’ll never know until the end whether or not you have succeeded.

2)Get married
Hey? who doesn’t want to get married some day or at least common law. just the chance to spend the rest of my life with someone I love. To me a wedding/marriage is more then just a ceremony, it’s a promise you make to your partner on the wedding day and the marriage is proof of your commitment and loyalty to your partner.

​3)Buy a house/land
I know that one day I would love to sit in our front yard and watch my children grow up, rather then a stuffy apartment.​

4)Have more kids
well I don’t want my son to be an only child forever I would like to give him at least 1 playmate.

5)Go back to school and get my masters in social work.
I’d love the chance to further my education and further my career.

6)Travel
Traveling would be amazing, seeing all the different types of cultures and life styles around the world.

7)Grow old with the one I love
I want to get the chance to grow old and
​the last two should be well easy to figure out.:)​​

Madison Taylor, Communicating with you

Ok lets start this blog off with something familiar.
Communication: The exchange of thoughts, messages, or information, as by speech,signals, writing, or behavior.
definition was found on Dictionary.com.
In almost all my blogs you hear something on communication. I feel that it’s one of the most important things in the world. it can help strengthen a relationship, it can build or break a country, it can help create things, communication can do so many things. Communication happens everyday, there is no avoiding it i’m communicating with you right now. There’s not really much to say on communication besides how important it is to watch what we all say and how it can effect someone else. Saying the wrong thing can sometimes cause a riple affect or as some may say bad karma. I was always taught that what goes around comes around, so if you show good social skills you will get a positive feed back. there are different situations where you need good communication skills such as: School, work, relationships and online.
School is a big one and I wanted to start off with it because it’s where we all first learn how to use our communication skills. In class say you got your teacher, the class clown, the class bully and your friends, and learning how you communicate with the different personalities and situations determines the out come. Say as an example a new kid comes into class, if you have positive communication/social skills there a good chance you may make a new friend, but if you show bad communication skills where you’re rude and mean to the other student, you may not be surprised by a negative come back. Funnily enough same goes for work except you get to learn to deal and understand what to do in certain situations.
Relationships, you always hear me say communication is the number one thing you need in a relationship of any kind. With communication comes trust, loyalty, comfort, compassion and so much more. It also brings a bond between you and who ever you’re communicating with, everyone should have at leasest one person they can talk to about anything and can trust them with their heart and soul. That shows good communication in that relationship and that can be anyone from your mom to your best friend to a boyfriend/girlfriend to a neighbour/co-worker. That doesn’t mean once you got them you got them and stop, to keep a strong relationship healthy there always has to be a constant flow of communication. Also the communication can’t only be one sided there has to be equal part through everyone involved
Now for online. Online is always tricky because like texting you don’t always know how the other person may read it. You have to be very careful about the way you write things through text, because you can’t hear sarcasm on a piece of paper/computer screen. for an example you could say “omg shut up” and there are two ways someone can take this 1) you’re excited 2) your being serious and you want them to be quiet. No matter what you can’t guarantee what the other person will think. so being careful with the way you phrase things is very important.

Madison Taylor, Self Care

Self care blog
I apologize for not writing this blog. It’s been a hard 2 months for me and my family, a lot of changes and bad news has come for us. It’s something that we will be working through, but I haven’t been able to do much self care, but I will write one and when things clear up and I can focus clearly again. thank you all for being understanding.

Madison Taylor on Cross Culture Relationships

What is a cross culture relationship? it’s when you have any kind of relationship between friends whether it be an intimate relationship, or a professional relationship, and there is a cultural difference between the two people. It can go three very different ways. First way can be positive, second can be neutral and the third can be negatively. I’ve encountered all three different ways in very different ways, my family is very multicultural i’m half Caucasian half Chinese, my grandmother first nations, two of my brother are half east Indian and my other 3 siblings are half Italian. So I grew up around different cultures my whole life. I’ll be going into it more later on, first I wanted to give some facts on cross culture relationships and how they affect us in are every day lives
I think one of the biggest thing that we our impacted by is the food. every culture has their traditional, their delicacy and their stereotypical food. if anyone has gone to a multicultural fair my favorite part is going around and trying all the cool food. The other affect it can have is the celebrations and different holidays, as an example I celebrate Christmas, new years and Chinese new years, and a couple other mixed holidays from my mixed culture. One that was really fun was I got a chance to go to a coming of age ceremony, it was a lot of fun but I ended up wearing the wrong colours. It was really fascinating though to see and participate in the ceremony, it was a great learning experience.
So now I’ll talk about the positive side of cross culture relationships. This can go as far as welcoming and accepting the other persons views and culture, this does not mean you have to participate in them or believe in them but it means that you’re willing to understand and listen to them when they talk about it. It’s not always easy being positive about stuff you do not fully understand but keeping your mind open is a great start.
Now the neutral side is most common, it’s one of the ways where both parties have a greater chance of not getting hurt. it’s pretty much you do your thing and I’ll do mine, and you keep it to your self. like my boyfriend doesn’t always agree with some of my Asian customs, but as long as I don’t shove them in his face he just let’s me do my thing and doesn’t participate. That is alright, he doesn’t have to because they’re my beliefs and my customs, just like how I don’t follow some of his.
The negative side is where thing get messy, because it all comes down to trying to change the person into something they are not. though it’s not right to do so it happens. It is when you start telling people to change their ways of their beliefs and discourage them from doing there practices, that is when you start to harm them. Other words for that are discrimination and racism, this position ends up being a lose lose for every one.

Madison on Harassment

Like always here is the definition of Harassment off of Dictionary.com.

Harassment: To disturb persistently; torment, as with trouble or care; bother continually; pester; persecute.

Harassment can go many different ways from discrimination, prejudice, sexism, religious views, to sexual. There are a bunch of different ways I could talk about harassment and all of them lead people to trouble or even charges if you are the harasser. I believe if you’re going through any type of harassment you should speak up and tell someone because no one deserves to be treated that way. There is also a big difference between bugging/ annoyed by a friend, co-worker or stranger and being harassed by one. The biggest difference is if they stop when you ask them to stop, a respectable friend or co-worker nine times out of 10 would stop if you asked. But if it’s to the point where you getting physically or verbally abused and you are afraid to talk to them about it then you may need to talk to someone.

The most common place harassment is seen is in a work place setting, so today I’ll talk a little about workplace harassment. They first type of harassment we are going to talk about is verbal harassment. The most common example of that is using offensive language basted on the gender, like calling a female by the female dog’s name. Or talking down on someone like constantly calling them “stupid” or an “idiot”. In a work place that is highly frowned upon. I also wanted to show a few side effects I found of Verbal abuse/harassment in a work place:

  • Physical change in blood pressure.
  • Loss of desire to pursue once enjoyable activity.
  • Feeling of guilt because they are under the belief that they are causing the bad vide at work.

Another type of harassment is physical. All works places have some sort of rule against physical violence, so that staff can feel safe and you should when you are at work. So physical harassment is when a co-worker uses force against another worker that could or does cause injury. It can also link up with sexual harassment but I do not want to talk too much on that because we will be having a full separate blog on that coming soon. Marie and Lynn will have that out for you in a couple months, so defiantly come check that out when the time comes.

Make sure if you ever have any questions about any type of harassment all ways feel free to ask, or there is also a lot of good information on www2.worksafebc.com that is where I got the information for this blog from. Also a handy tip to keep yourself and your co-worker safe is to write thing down as soon and accrete as you can (time, date, witnesses, and situation in as much detail as you can).it will help cover your butt in the long run, it has for me working as a youth worker.

I have been in a situation were a lot of verbal harassment took place. It was not a fun place to work and I dreaded every shift. I worked there for 2.5 years before leaving, not including the year maternity leave.it accutully go worse after I got pregnant, staff started calling rude names that I will not say on here (but you can use your imagination, I was in fact a teen parent) and I got blamed for thing I could not help.  I was between 5 and 6 months pregnant  when I got a write up for taking to many pee breaks. I remember getting really frustrated at myself because I already had a weak blatter to begin with, but I paid the price for not speaking up for myself or tell anyone because I ended up with a really bad track infection from trying to hold everything in at work. I all so fell off of two ladders while I was pregnant, now that situation was weird cause my supervisor yelled at me till I got up the ladder then yelled at me again for falling off. It was a frustrating part of my life but I got through it. I ended up telling my head boss everything that was going on three weeks before I left that job, I ended up transferring somewhere closer to home. I was happier there I got along with everyone and I stayed there until I enrolled in college.

 

Leave  a comment down below if you have any question, comments. Leave a star if you liked it, I’d love to hear from you guys.

 

“You cannot feel Happiness without pain, you also can’t feel excitement without disappointment.”

~Madison

Madison Talking About Eating Disorders

When it comes to eating disorders it’s a hard thing to talk about. It’s very difficult to explain exactly how it feels to experience what it’s like  because it differs from person to person.  Although I will tell you this, I would not want to go back to the way I was back then. When I was 16 I was anorexic, I only ate food when I had to, I would freak out if I went over 110 pounds, and no one questioned it until I really started showing how much I actually had lost. I don’t think l was truly happy with myself, nor did l believe that anyone would like me if I gained any weight.

So today I’m going to go over different Stereotypes as well as the different types of eating disorders.

 

Stereotypes.

  1. Only types of eating disorder are anorexia or Bulimia:

Actually there is multiple different types, but I’ll be only talking about 7 today. The first one is a simple one I think everyone knows a little bit about so I won’t spend too much time on it.

Anorexia Nervosa: Characterized by the clients refusal or inability to maintain a normal body weight, intense fear of gaining weight or becoming fat, significantly disturbed perception of the shape or size of the body, and steadfast inability or refusal to acknowledge the existence or seriousness of the problem.

Bulimia Nervosa: recurrent episode of binge eating followed by inappropriate compensatory behaviors to avoid weight gain such as purging, fasting or excessively exercising.

Binge eating disorder: uncontrolled, excessive intake of any available food and often occurring following stressful events.

This is when someone over eats, without the vomiting. This is another very popular eating disorder but is not typically labeled as an eating disorder. Most people will binge eat after a bad break up or a difficult day at work, something stressful that can trigger it. Some won’t even notice their binge eating. This also happens when people are trying to gain weight but in an unhealthy way. Most people don’t realize that putting that much food in you all at once doesn’t sit well with your digestion, and it’s harder for your body to break down.

Avoidance/restrictive food intake disorder: this eating disorder is more like anorexia but instead of refusing food it’s more of fear. Most people will avoid the food they dislike, for them they have a fear of the texture or of vomiting.

Calorie counting: for this there is a healthy way and an extreme way to count your calories. The unhealthy way is to the point where you will not even go one thing over your limit and ignore any nutrition if it happens to go over. It can also lead to a lot of health issues and make you sick without the proper balance.

Pica: it’s most commonly found in children. This eating disorder is when you eat mainly nonfood items such as dirt or glue and you typically outgrow this eating disorder after a certain age. There are still some people who still struggle with this eating disorder past that point. Don’t get me wrong the stage in life that kids go through eating everything is perfectly normal but at the age of say 20 for example it is not normal to be eating dirt off the side of the road for dinner.

Last one I’m going to be talking about is nocturnal sleep related eating disorder: these are interesting because people who are fully asleep will still eat this also ties into sleep walking as well.  Having it happen on a regular bases can be considered a nocturnal sleep eating disorder. I’m not sure exactly how it works but it does happen.

These are only a few of the eating disorder that are out there if you want to check out more I got my info from dictionary.com and healthyplace.com/eating-disorders/eating-disorders-overview/type-of-eating-disorder-list-of-eating-disorder/ check it out they have a lot of good information on there about the different types, they will also give you better detail on the different topics I’ve talked about as well.

  1. People chose to have an eating disorder to get attention and can snap out of it if they want. 

It’s funny when you hear someone say that, especially when you’re someone who has been through it, because most people don’t even realize they are doing it till someone points it out. I know for a fact I didn’t and after someone pointed it out I honestly tried to hide it after that because I felt so ashamed of my actions and I didn’t know how to stop either. Something like an eating disorder can differ between people and some people can’t even control it without help, and a lot of the time there is no help to be found at that time.

  1. it’s a girl thing. 

It’s definitely not a girl thing. I would say probably 50/50 or 40/60 at minimum. Yes you hear about girls more often but males go through the same situation and same struggle we females do. It’s a normal teenage phase that almost everyone one goes through, because of the stigma the media put out there of what we should look like. I’m sorry but half the models now don’t even look like that, it’s all computerized and Photoshop. No one is perfect and no one should be, imagining the world perfect to me it would get boring because everyone is the same.

  1. Eating disorder are unrelated to other behavioral disorders. 

Actually they can be related to some, as I said earlier one of the eating disorder can be related to sleep walking. other behavioral disorders that related to eating disorder are depression and anxiety. Depression is a very common one because a side effect from depression is lack of appetite or over eating, and that can cause or start the eating disorder habits. That being said not everyone who has an eating disorder has depression and vice versa.

“You can’t feel happiness with out sadness, you also can’t feel excitement without disappointment.”

~Madison Taylor.

Madison Talks About The Difference between Feminism and Equality

To be totally honest I do not really know how to write this blog on feminism, because I’m not a feminist. I do not fully agree with what feminism stands for now, I did in the beginning when they were trying to promote female equality; but now to me it feels like they are doing more male bashing and giving females more power over males. The point I’m trying to make is that I’m not too clear on what feminism is anymore. I’m a equalist , I’m more for equality for both males and females; but yet I still like being treated like the female I am.  Yes I know that may sound wrong but I love when my fiancé hold’s the door open for me or pays for our date. The typical stuff that males do, yes I understand that female’s can do it too, but I don’t.  That’s something that only happens in my relationship and I don’t expect people to do it too because that’s the way I want it.

When it comes to equality I don’t think my partner should have to bring home all the money and pay all the bills, I enjoy going to work and having money that is mine. My fiancé and I have split the big bills up, such as he pays for the car and I pay the rent. Same with house cleaning, mind you I’m not really good at it but hey who’s judging. I maintain the living room and bathroom he has the kitchen and the bed rooms. It’s all a part of what he can do, I can do and what I can do, he can do. There needs to be that healthy balance between the two or nothing would get done. I lived in a house hold where my father would make us wait until our mother came home from work to feed us dinner, and sometimes she was off at midnight, so we were waiting a while but in his mind it was the women’s job. In my house it’s whoever is there feeds the kids, funny thing is my fiancé is a better cook then I am. Also I heard this all the time when my mom would ask my dad if he could help with the kids, and my dad would tell her that it was her job. You see that a lot going back in our history where the male brought in the income and the female did everything else. That though is  also how he was raised, he is a lot better now, my mother talked some sense into him finally.

​Yes I know people are going to say that there is no difference between equality and feminism but there is. I’ll give you the definition I got off of dictionary.com.

Feminism: an organized movement for the attainment of such rights for women.

Equality: the state or quality of being equal; correspondence in quantity, degree, value, rank, or ability.

The biggest difference is that equality fights for both male and female’s rights rather than just females. Yes I believe there should be female doctors but why can’t there be a male nurse, or yes there can be a female gardener but not a male house cleaner. Male’s need just as much support as females do and that’s why I’m on the side of equality. Now if you’re a feminist, keep fighting but also remember males do need help too sometimes, they are just too stubborn to ask for it sometimes.

I hope you guys liked my blog. Leave a comment down below if you have any questions or comments. I love hearing from you guys.

“Nothing is impossible; the word itself says ‘I’m possible’!”
-By Audrey Hepburn

-Madison Taylor

Madison: Stereotypes of Youth Homelessness

There are sadly lots of stereotypes around youth homelessness. So fist like always I’ll give you the definition of homelessness from dictionary.com.
Homelessness: “persons who lack permanent housing.”
Stereotypes/Myths
All homeless youth are heavy drug users;

As a youth worker I work with a lot of homeless youth. I say about 80% of the youth I’ve encountered haven’t even touched any drugs or smoke weed in their spare time. A lot of the youth I’ve worked with are really good kids just in a bad situation. Just like the homeless adult not all of them are on drugs.

There can’t be a homeless crisis because I don’t see that many youth living on the streets or in parks;

​That’s because not many youth do, they either try for a shelter, a friend’s house or somewhere isolated and can’t be found. It’s safer for them that way. Because some youth are only 14 when they go to the streets it’s not safe for them to be out in the open sleeping, they would be an open target that way. Also just because you can’t see a crisis happening around you doesn’t mean it’s not going on. There is a lot more homeless then we think out there and not enough resources to help.

MOST ARE RUNAWAYS;

​Very few of the homeless youth population are runaways otherwise a missing person report would be filled and the youth would be brought home. Most youth are either custody of the ministry or have been kicked out of their homes. Most runaways only stay out for a couple of days and then return home 2-5 days later and never really become homeless. Because there is still a home for them to go back to, which sadly some youth don’t have and find safety in a shelter or with a friend.

Homeless youth are scruffy, smelly, criminals who couldn’t care less about their communities;

​Most youth who are homeless aren’t, most still attend school and some even have part time jobs to help pay for their necessities. But yes some youth who can’t find shelter will tend to be a bit scruffy or smelly. But just like other youth they still do care about there hygiene, because hey who wants to go up to their friends smelling like a pig. Most youth will respect the community as long as the community stops putting negative stigmas on the youth. As a youth myself I’d walk into a store and I’d have the cashier either tell me to leave and to come back with an adult or follow me around the store until I left. I myself worked 6 days a week I had the money to buy what I wanted but because I was a youth I was automatically a thief and could not be trusted. I remember once when I was 13 my mom asked me to pick up the groceries while she went across the street to get gas. The cashier made me empty my purse and pockets before she would ring in anything, I was shocked, my mom gave me a $100 for 4 things if I wanted something I would of just bought it, the bill only came to $35. Let’s just say my dad started screaming when he found out and they tried to tell him it was protocol.

I hope you guys liked my blog. Leave a comment down below if you have any questions or comments. I love hearing from you guys.

“Nothing is impossible; the word itself says ‘I’m possible’!”
-By Audrey Hepburn

-Madison Taylor