Howie Defranco Talks Child Abuse

Hey blog readers, it’s Howie Defranco and today’s topic is child abuse, and hey this is like my third blog on abuse. So hopefully you know my stance already, that I think abuse is equivalent of torture and that people who do it need to reevaluate their value of life. So having said that lets start talking about child abuse, mental, physical, and sexual it’s the trifecta of abuse because it comes in all forms. Which makes it very disturbing as look just read that sentence again and think we do this to children…. TO CHILDREN. That right there is the worst most heinous thing I can think about a society where people can get away with abusing their children.
Let’s be clear about that though, there are laws in place, the abusers can go to jail, their children (if it’s there’s) sent to a foster home. A foster home where it is entirely possible the whole thing could happen again and the cycle begins again, destroying the child’s psyche, self esteem and view of the world. Better yet that child some how could grow up thinking it was all their fault that their abusers had a right to do it and they should be ashamed of it. Even then they could be the kid that grows up with it then when they have kids, they think it’s ok to act like their parents did and become abuser’s themselves. It’s honestly a vicious cycle that in a perfect world would be more than outlawed but alas this is what we live in.
To bring this to a point though and not just me ranting, if your a kid reading this, or anyone still living at home stop right now and think about the fact you can try to stand up. Try being the word, if you don’t think you can tell someone you trust, someone who can for you, who can protect you. For the good adults reading this, look out for the young people in your life, nurture them, protect them, show them there are good, strong, kind people in this world. For this world is filled with them but sadly the few people who aren’t go to far and wreck others lives.

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Madison: Stereotypes of Child Abuse

Child Abuse

Here’s the definition of child abuse from dictionary.com

Child Abuse: mistreatment of a child by a parent or guardian, including neglect, beating, and sexual molestation.

When it comes to child abuse this topic always makes me angry, some people say that’s because I am a mother, but honestly it doesn’t matter. No child should be put in that kind of situation nor have to watch someone else go through it. Through my child hood I went through some stuff that I hope none of mine have to go through, but I was lucky in a sense that none of the abuse came from either of my parents nor any adult in my family. Today I’m going to be going through some different stereotypes about child abuse.

Stereotype

· There will be physical evidence of abuse.
> That is not always the case, when it comes to verbal, emotional or even physical abuse they are not always shown. Sad to say but more times than not emotional scars can do more damage than physical ones.

· Most child abusers are strangers.
> This is a very common stereotype that is false. When it comes to child abuse a majority of the abuse comes from a person from which the child already trusts and respects. That does not mean assume everyone you know is abusing your child or make your child fear everyone, that is not what I’m saying, but it is something to keep an eye on. A lot of child abductions are mostly from people the child already knows and trusts. My mother was always in fear of this, so we came up with a safe word, so any time she sent someone to come pick me up beside her or my grandfather they would have to tell me the safe word (password) before I’d be allowed to go with them. Lucky for me I never had to use it but it’s always a good idea to be safer rather than sorry. Also communication is key, my mother was always planning a head and letting us know who and when someone different was picking us up.

· Children usually tell someone that they are being abused
> Most children will not tell people they are being abused, because out of fear or threats or even respect. No matter what the cause children will still love their parent/abuser, just not the abuse. Children are very smart but they don’t fully know right from wrong until we show them the difference, and their innocence is sometimes what is keeping their mouth shut because we don’t know what goes on behind closed doors.
That brings me to my next topic discipline. This topic is a tricky one especially when it comes with abuse. One thing to remember is every parent is different, but by law there is still a line that is drawn. I for one do not like to spank my son but I will if he is putting himself or others in danger, and in all honestly he just turned five in April and I think I’ve spanked him a total of 4 times. I am more the time outs, kind of parent but even though they break my heart. Discipline is hard for all parties but yes it needs to be done, but make sure to do the research before you accidentally cross a line. Because I want to believe no one wants to hurt their children and yes things sometimes happen when tempers fly high but remember we are in this together, everyone makes mistake we are human. When I mess up and I do, (hahaha more times than not but hey), I just remove myself, calm myself and address the situation accordingly, then I show my son my love with lot of hugs and apologies. It’s also showing are children that we as adult still make mistakes and it’s not a bad thing, and it helps everyone be more accountable for their actions.

Thanks everyone for reading, I’d love to hear Question, Concerns, Answer, Statements, anything you want to through at me in the comment section below.

“The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing.” – Albert Einstein

~Madison Taylor