Madison Opinion on Teen Pregnancy

When it comes to teen pregnancy or teen parents I feel that so many people have such a negative outlook because all of the stereotypes. Even when I was 18 with a brand new baby boy I would always consider myself a young parent of all the negative stigma around the label teen parents. But no matter how much I tried I was still stuck in the middle of people judgement. Because yes being a young parent I struggled, I got looked down on, bullied, I had a bad day, but I had good days as well. When I found out that I was pregnant I had a mixed feeling I was happy, but I was 17 and very nervous and scared. I was looking into adoption and researching my options. After a week I had found myself in a book story just browsing the ally’s when I came across my favorite childhood book. As I was reading through it I realized I wasn’t ready for a child but I knew I would do anything in my power to make sure that my child would have anything it needed. I went home that night and explained to my boyfriend how I felt and how I felt and let him know I was keeping the child. My family didn’t quite understand but did grow to accept it. I ended up having to change schools in the middle of my grade 12 year to go to a school that offered a teen mom program. I did well in school and I had a choice to graduate on time but I held myself back so that I could upgrade some of my courses. After my son was born I moved in with his father, but it ended up us splitting up 8 months later. I started going out with one of my best friends at the time. I had so many people tell me it wasn’t going to last because he was only 16 and I was 18 with a child, little did they know my son 4 and calling him his 2nd daddy. Even through all those droughts are relationship still growing stronger? My son’s father and I didn’t get along well after we first broke up, but we worked through are differences and we are now really good friends. We now all work well making co-parenting a lot easier because of it.

Even though I am a teen parent, good thing can still happen I am not encouraging youth to go out and have children at a young age. But I want people especially the youth going through this to know it’s not the end of your life, it’s a new beginning and a new way of looking at the world. I was able to complete college and I graduated a few months ago. Now I’m working in a career that I love. So the mom’s or mom’s to be of any age. I wish you the best and I hope you don’t give up hope. Also remember know matter what chose you make it is the right one if it feels best for you.

If I could change something I would love for there to be more open support programs available, the school I went to have a one year waiting list just to get into the school. But I am happy for all the support that are already in place but I wish there were more especially for young fathers. When it comes to young father the lack of resource does really concern me because they need to have just as much help as young mothers because they may not be the ones caring the baby but they do carry a similar burden for that child.

Stereotypes

  • Teen pregnancy is only the young women fault.

I’m sorry but it takes two to tango. But being honest, there is no way possible for a women to conserve a child on her own. I don’t know where this stereotype came from unless it’s from the time of where boys can do no wrong. That does not slid with this time in age.

  • All teen moms are single mom

Well from my own experience I am I know so many young mom’s that are in a relationship. And to be honestly there are men out there that love kids and wouldn’t mind anyone who would love to help raise a child. And like I said in my LGBTQ2IA blog I believe there is someone for everyone. So to all the single mothers don’t give up hope because there will be someone out there somewhere.

  • Teen moms don’t enjoy mother hood.

For one I love motherhood. I wouldn’t give it up for the world, and two who has the right to tell someone how they feel, how someone else experience something. It is not up to anyone else to feel how anyone else can feel. There is a big difference between empathy and judging.

-Madison Taylor

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Teen Pregnancy -Marie Olsson

“One in three women get pregnant before the age of 20”

Pregnancy is a scary word at any age. You are carrying a child inside of you for ten months.  You are feeding them, taking care of them before they have even taken their first breath.  Every decision you make in those nine months impacts your unborn child.  It doesn’t end there either for the next eighteen years (at the least) you are caring for that child: feeding them, clothing them, teaching them right from wrong and how to speak.  It doesn’t stop there either, for the rest of your life you are worrying nonstop, hoping you raised them right, hoping they are happy, safe, and successful.  You spend time hoping you did enough and everything will change: life, outlooks and priorities change.

When I was sixteen I found out I was pregnant, it was a terrifying moment. My boyfriend and I had broken up the month before this discovery, and I felt absolutely alone. I found out I was four months pregnant and I felt like I was a horribly unobservant.  The following few weeks was a rollercoaster of events. I found out I was having a baby girl, I was repeatedly attempting to tell the father and my parents about her (and failing countless times) and researching what it would take to be a mother. I was ecstatic, I always wanted a kid, yeah I was young, but things would work out right? Well no, around 25 weeks pregnant I miscarried, and it was devastating. I was heartbroken, I had grown to love my little angel growing inside of me.  I didn’t know then but that heartbreak would follow me for years, still does to this day in fact. I had fallen into a deep depression, I felt lost and I felt like my world had changed.

It took me years to get out of that depression, it didn’t help that I was hiding it from everyone I knew in shame or fear of being judged. It wasn’t until the age of eighteen that I finally opened up and told someone about my pregnancy.  I realized bottling everything in was not healthy, and it did not help me at all; in reality keeping it all inside hurt me more than anything.  I realized that I had made things out to be worse in my head then they were in reality, and the people I have opened up to are all fairly supportive about it.  I was very fortunate in that sense that everyone I told accepted it and didn’t harshly judge me on it.  However not everyone is as fortunate as I was, and may receive some backlash upon opening up to people.

Many youth going through a young pregnancy do not have a very positive response and can have some very negative setbacks.  Some are disowned, lose friends or family support, face bullying, and some may have the other parent walk away not ready to handle having a child. Those among many others are all reasons youth can be scared to talk to people about what’s going on. There is also the necessities that come with raising a child, such as feeding, housing and looking after that child, which can take up a lot of one’s time and resources. To top it all off is the stigma young parents seem to face that basically says that all teen parents are horrible parents, which by the way is false… Lets be realistic here guys, you can be a horrible parent no matter what age you had your child(ren), and also making mistakes is part of human nature. It is not right to label someone a ‘bad parent’ due to someone else’s mistakes, or for any reason for that matter especially if you are not directly involved (even if you are though, not nice).

Many people see having a child young as an end of one’s freedom, lack of experience, and a waste of the person’s young years. While they could be valid points they are not necessarily all true; I mean yes you have to sacrifice a lot for this child but you gain a lot too. Where you don’t have the freedom to go out and party with your friends nonstop; you’ve gained a pal to play with, to grow with. Yes you may have gained more responsibility but having a child does not end your life, they just enhance it.

Stay Proud, Stay Loud Lovies!

Marie Olsson xx

Source: http://www.familyplanningplus.org/83/how-many-teen-girls-get-pregnant-every-year/