Marie’s Talk on Suicide

“Don’t do it.”
“You’ll be ok.”
“Things get better.”
“Think of us, we love you.”
Anyone who has contemplated suicide has probably heard these words countless times.

When suicide feels like it’s the best option, over staying alive, it doesn’t mean the person is weak. When you are at the point that death seems like the best solution it’s because you have fought so hard to be at the point you are and you feel like you have no fight left. You feel like you are drowning, that there is no way out and nothing is getting better or easier and it can feel like everything is just getting worse. You have no will power, energy or reasons to keep fighting. You have lost that glimmer of light to see that things get better. You don’t know what else to do to make things better.

“Just kill yourself already.”
“Suicide is the pussies way out,”
“Stop being a whiney brat.”
“We’d be better off without you anyways.”
Words hurt and they can be taken to heart.

Words alone are not enough to convince someone not to commit suicide but they can help push them farther towards it. When you hit such a low point in life where you feel as though suicide is your only option your loved ones words are not the only thing you need to be alright. You need their support, love, actions, encouragement and you need help. In some ways you can compare suicide to drowning. Like drowning words alone will not save you from suicide.

Imagine you are drowning, are words alone going to save you? If someone is standing somewhere safe and telling you ‘don’t drown’ or ‘just swim to safety’ that’s not going to help a lot. Just like if you are suicidal being told ‘don’t commit suicide’ or ‘just fight harder’ does not help you get through it. If you are drowning it is helpful for the person to give you a flotation device, it will keep you afloat; but that can be only a temporary saviour if you can’t bring yourself to safety. Just with suicidal thoughts it can be temporary fix to have your mind and time occupied; but as soon as you are alone again it’s easy to slip right back down into your thoughts and plans of suicide. If you are drowning it is helpful for the person to come out to you and help you pull yourself to safety or give you a device that’ll help keep you afloat and bring you to safety. Much like drowning, when dealing with suicide it is helpful for a loved one to talk to you, find out what is wrong. It’s also helpful for them to show (not just say) they care and are listening, for them to try and understand. For them to be there for you when you are struggling, and to get you help. To help you and not just give you the tools and expect you to figure out how to work it, to be by your side and help you. It is helpful for them to meet you where you are at and not expect you to just come to where they are first.

“I’m here for you.”
“What’s wrong?”
“You don’t have to do this alone, we can get through this together.”
Having support can make all the difference.

If you are feeling suicidal reach out to someone you trust.
If you notice someone may be suicidal reach out to them, don’t just turn a blind eye.
If someone expresses that they are suicidal help them, support them. Help them work through it, and get professional help.
You are never alone. Don’t suffer in silence.

Stay Loud. Stay Proud. Stay Strong, Lovies.
Marie Olsson xx

Advertisements

Madison and The Stereotypes of Suicide

Definition from dictonary.com:
“The intentional taking of one’s own life.”

Suicide like self harm is hard to talk about because of how touchy of a subject it is and there is always a fear of accidently triggering someone , or offending someone. So I always try to keep that in mind and try to keep as many details as possible so this blog may not be as personal as my other blogs. So my blog today like most other times is going to be on stereotypes.
Stereotype:

People who talk about suicide do it to get attention.
That can be true in some ways, but I believe Its on the same kind of attention people think it is. When at any point someone come to you talking about the difficulty they are facing/ having it more of a cry for help, rather the attention seeking. Suicide is a very serious issue that people go through and it’s not something people want to do. If I could it out of my head I would, but it takes a lot of love and support to help get through it.
I struggle with suicide and depression as some people know if you guys got a chances to read any of my other blogs. I go through suicidal episodes and it’s hard to take about it. I can openly talk about I when I’m not going through an episode but when I’m in one it’s hard enough to even smile let alone let some one else in, and that is typically the time I need the most help.
Suicide is not very common.
Oh I wish that was true, but sadly it’s more common then people think. It’s something that is not typically talked about much, unless it impacts you. I have a few family members and friend that struggle so I’ve always known a lot about the topics, but due the negative stigma around suicide it’s not very heard about. My parent for one have a very different look on suicide because they think if no body talks about it, it will go away on it own. With some thing yes that may work but other not so much.
Once someone has made up their minds to die, they can’t be helped.
No there is always hope, someone may just need to see you fight for them to help change there minds. If a person really wanted to go they already be gone, there would be no talking about it. There is always a reason to stay, they just might not be able to see it.
There had been days that I felt like I’ve had nothing left to live for, and sometime all it took was a simple hello from a old friend, or a sweet smile from a random stranger. The little thing in life make life worth living but even the best of us seem to miss it sometimes. Nobody perfect, where would the fun be if we all were.
To be able to enjoy a good day we have to experience a bad day. To be sad you have to know what happy feels like. To ask for help is not weakness it’s a sign of strength and trust in one’s self. Never forget you are cared for, you are loved, and you mean something, you just may not see it yet.

-Madison Taylor.

Brian View on Suicide

Suicide is a scary thought that no one should ever consider doing. Some of us I know if not most of us in the world go through a lot in our life and often times all we want to do is go somewhere far and just give up and end our life. Let me tell you something, I have been there many times in the past couple years and I cant even count the times I have attempted to end my life, at times I’m like why didn’t I kill myself when I had the perfect chase, why cant I just give up and go somewhere no one knows me or find me and kill myself, like why am I living, let me tell you something I wouldn’t be here right now if it wasn’t for the support of a couple friends holding me down and breaking me emotionally telling me how much life is going to get better soon. I should have been dead years ago when I held a gun to my head and couldn’t pull the trigger no matter how hard I tried to I just couldn’t do it, the one person that came to my mind when I closed my eyes was my baby niece, whenever I feel low I think of her and she just makes me feel better. Even though I can’t see her she is always close to me when I close my eyes.
I know how hard it is, where there’s days you just want to die and not live because you feel alone boys and girls whoever is reading this I want you to know, you are never ever going be alone in the world there is always going to be someone else in the world that is going through the same situation as you and that is ready to give up but I want you to know hang in there. No matter how hard life feels like its the end of the world its not, life is tough, life is rough, and often times we don’t know what to do, but there is so much you can do about it, when you feel like you want to end it all think of a love one and how hurt they would be if they found out you died? Think about the people that care and love you even when you deny that no one loves you, honestly you are loved and cared for its our intentions and negative thoughts that make us believe and think different. I know we all heard it before in life don’t be so negative and don’t be so upset, honestly its not a bad thing to be upset often times its good to be upset so you can release emotions and crying is good.
When you feel upset when you feel like the world is giving you hard times and feel like ending your life, think of someone you love dearly and talk to someone, talk to someone you can trust and tell them how your feeling, tell them that you want to give up be honest with them, I know I wouldn’t want anyone to go to that extreme, I know the struggle of suicide but remember there is someone else wanting to give up but don’t. The pain your battling, and your scars will change someone else’s life, I have my scars and I have my wounds but I’m still here surviving but what didn’t kill me in the past only made me stronger, I am a stronger and better person each day that goes by, each day I learn new things from people and talk to them about what I went through because I realized what I hid from everyone else only made things worse. Talk to someone about how you feel and don’t worry everyday is going to get better and better you are not alone.
this is Brian O’Connor stay beautiful

Howie Discusses Suicide

Hey blog readers, it’s Howie Defranco and this blog is going to be talking about suicide. I was gonna start this blog off talking about different feelings that can lead to suicidal thought, and what causes those feelings. When you look at it all though it all boils down to the fact you see no other way, then to release yourself from this life. Speaking from experience it felt like I was drowning, and there was a force that every time I tried to pull myself away from it, it pulled me deeper down into an abyss. Mine stemmed from feelings of loneliness, isolation and rejection, I’m not going to retell that story it’s all in my blog about depression. At the point where I was about to do it though, the reason I didn’t was because, my phone went off and it just kept ringing in the background.

Before I continue with the story though, let’s just talk about some of the causes for that feeling that leads a person to consider suicide. Firstly it can be caused by a few different medical reasons including mental disorders, including but not limited to, depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia and anxiety. Any psychological trauma can bring those thoughts out, whether those be from abuse, or PTSD. Of course a number of causes are also from the societal front, isolation, bullying, genetics, only being a few among them. No matter what though that feeling of being unable to escape, not able to cope is there and is overwhelming.

Personally at this point in my life, I have found one reason and only one reason where I can see suicide as an answer. As I’ve come to see there is always another way, another road, another choice to take. If though you have a disease, an ailment that would end your life painfully, or worse have your mind degrade and you wish to end it rain her than suffer through that. That I can understand, but when you’re not at that point then you can always find a way to fix your life, it takes time sometimes and sometimes it just takes a moment to think of a reason that you need to be around the next day, and the next day and the day after that.

The phone just kept ringing and ringing, that night I had no idea who it was at that moment. When it started ringing though, I froze I couldn’t go through with it. I started remembering a scene from Lethal Weapon when Riggs holds his gun up to his head, with his special hollow bullet that go clean straight through. How he doesn’t pull the trigger, how when his partner confronts him about whether he’s suicidal or not he says every day I find another reason not to pull the trigger. To me that first day was the phone ringing it was just a friend wanting to see if I was doing ok, but I took it as a sign. Every day for a while after I’d look for a reason not to put that razor against my wrists and pull my arteries out and live for the next day.

Since that day I’ve had 2 friends in my life who committed suicide, one of whom I didn’t find out about for a few months and still don’t know her story. The other was very saddening, I will not even give her a fake name out of respect, we had all left for summer vacation at the end of grade 11, assuming we’d see each other in September. When September came round though she was nowhere to be seen, she was still registered though and they’d call her name out in class. After a few weeks the police found a body matching her description, none of us were expecting that. I tried to go to her funeral but sadly was given the wrong address and since I was bussing spent the day lost in Surrey. A day later though.. Actually wait, you need to know all this was going on at the same time of the whole Amanda Todd thing. Someone I knew about a day later was saying how weak she was, and making fun of her for committing suicide, saying that he gets bullied every day you don’t see him posting it all over the Internet and killing himself and so on. I looked him dead in the eye and said, would you also say it was weak of my 2 friends to commit suicide? How about the fact I have more than thought about it? Are we weak for it? He stopped talking after that.

I’ve become very respectful of life since then I think it’s incredibly precious, and that everyone deserves a chance at it. No one is weak for committing suicide or thinking about it. If you do feel that way though, talk to people, talk to your loved ones don’t look yourself up in those feelings. Always look for a reason to live the next day.

Ivybelle Opinion Piece on Self Harm

Self-Harm is a very touchy subject to a lot of people. It has been around for years and yet people don’t really understand why people do it or don’t really understand that there is more than one type of self-harm. There’s mutilation, burning, too much food or not enough, there’s drugs/alcohol, there’s lack of sleep or too much, and many more. A person doesn’t always realize what they do to themselves. People who starve themselves or have lack of sleep don’t realize that they are harming themselves because they think it’s a normal thing and that it doesn’t hurt their body.

The first thing people thing a person will think when mentioning “Self-Harm” is cutting or burning themselves. Self-Harm can not only be caused by a mental issue but also from bullying, harassment, Abuse, etc.. It can really push someone into harming themselves. Self-Harm is something that I know very well. I myself have struggled with it for years, mine was a combined of different harms including; mutilation, lack of sleep, lack of food and at some point I wanted to turn to burning myself. Not a lot of people knew because I didn’t want anyone to know. I was scared that they would tell my mom or they would make fun of me or send me into a hospital.

The first time I ever tried self-harm I was 10. When I was 10 years old, I got bullied really badly. I got called every name in the book, physically abused, people made fun of me because my mom was deaf and a girl started a petition of who wanted me dead. Eventually I started starving myself. Not only because I was being called ugly and fat, but because my mom was poor and couldn’t always afford to buy food. I stopped eating and I was afraid to tell anyone about the situations I was going through.

In gym class one day I blacked out and the gym teachers didn’t do anything. I thought to myself maybe no one actually cares about me after all. At that moment I didn’t really want to live anymore. With the years I just got the habit of starving myself without realizing that I was actually self-harming myself. I thought it was normal I didn’t think I was harming myself. When I was younger, sleep was not something that I would allow myself at times. The abuse I went through since I was 5 caused me to be paranoid and cause a serious trauma. I would stay awake for weeks and I would start having physical pain. Like cramps, headaches, my eyes would hurt, I was emotionally drained and eventually it didn’t matter anymore because I allowed my body to suffer because of my fear. With time, I didn’t have to force myself to stay up anymore and I wouldn’t get any physical pain because I got used to it. I didn’t realize the damage I was causing to my body.

In high school I was finally told by an old friend told me that cutting was a way for her to release pain and it felt good. I tried it and that’s what I turned to… I did it for many reasons. One of them was to focus my pain physically and forget the pain emotionally. I hated the feeling of pain. So instead I would focus on the physical pain because it was only temporary. Another reason as well, was because I felt ugly. I was bullied for years and people would always call me ugly, fat, useless, they said that nobody loved me even my mom. Eventually I believe it. Self-Harm was a way for me to express how I felt on the inside to match the outside. Another reason was that I became addicted to the pain. The pain felt good, It made me feel alive again.

When go through a lot of emotional pain and bottle it up, you eventually become numb. It’s like it becomes too much mentally and emotionally and you forget that you are even alive because eventually you don’t feel the pain of cutting or burning or any other type of self-harm. After cutting wasn’t enough for me, I wanted so badly to try burning myself. I came close to doing it until I got caught by a friend and gave me a speech about how self-harm wasn’t the way to deal with situations. At that point, bullying wasn’t the only problem. There was family issues as well. But then I thought to myself maybe I should just stick to cutting along with the other things I was doing to myself. See, even though people tell you to not harm yourself, it’s something that is not easy to stop.

Often you think to yourself that no one understands your pain, that they don’t really care about you, that they say it out of pity or that they would feel responsible if something happened to you. You think that you are alone, that you will never get through your problems that the easiest way to deal with it is self-harm to the point that you kill yourself or even become numb. Sometimes you would like to wear a t-shirt or shorts but you can’t because you don’t want people to judge you on the battle wounds you have or you feel too ugly because of the scars, yet you can’t seem to stop. It’s a way to relief yourself, a “home”, an addiction, your therapy.

A lot of people won’t understand why you do it. And really, it’s not something that’s easy to explain unless you go through it. Often people who self-harm are being called weak, stupid and even “useless”. I’ve heard that one many times,but it’s not. People who self-harm are a lot stronger than people think. They go through a lot and don’t know how to deal with it. It’s so easy to be judged. Not everyone has the courage to take a blade, knife, razor, etc… To their skin without thinking without crying and doing it over and over again.

Often people tells us that we are attention-whores, or we are a sad excuse. Sometimes were are just looking for people to pity us. That would wouldn’t be harming ourselves if we really wanted to end ourselves. However sometimes, people who starve/over eat, use drugs/alcohol, etc… Don’t realize they are harming themselves, so how can they be looking for attention- not everyone has money to get therapy. A lot of doctors would say that you need medication or therapy, but honestly, we don’t need therapy or medication to make us feel crazy. We need someone to give us a hug and tell us we will be okay and that we aren’t crazy. We need a true friend who won’t betray us, and no one wants to be a medication because they just think we are crazy and that medication will make people stop harming themselves.

Self-harm is a very vulnerable thing to admit and to talk about. Schools don’t really talk about it anymore. People choose to close their eyes instead of getting them some help. More and more people are turning to those releases because it’s the only thing that can make them feel free in a way. Today’s society is making us more and more depressed because of the standards or being “beautiful“ or  making us so stressed out that we feel like there is no way out. Today, I still struggling with self-harm. I’ve stopped for a couple years and every day is another day that I am struggling to not get into it again. It’s not easy. When I see a knife, the temptation is there. There’s morning and lunches that I skip eating and there are days that I force myself to stay up. It’s a battle that I keep fighting but I tell myself that I have to stay strong.

So remember people, stay strong. You are beautiful and it does get better. Don’t be afraid to get help. You are not crazy, you are just going through pain that is overwhelming and hard to deal with. You will get through it. Stay strong. Stay Beautiful. – Ivybelle – Xx